As of right now

I have not been on here in a while, so i decided to update. I am doing ok. There has been a few rough spots in my life recently, and i am just trying to get over the. I am happy with my friends, i got 2 of my best friends back, and i am so thankful for that. I love them so much. I am in a good mood right now. Today was painful. I had woken up with something wrong with my neck and i was in bed all day. Literally. I have never slept so much haha.! It's alright though, I have been sleep deprived, getting like 9 hours of sleep a week, so it felt good to just sleep. I just wish i could have done that minus the pain. Oh well! It is a lot better than this morning, i hope when i wake up tomorrow, it will be better. Well, its time to go to bed again! I am not sure what i am doing tomorrow, but 2 more days till Christmas Eve!!! Woohoo! Presents!!!!:))

No chance here..

They usually say that a new day is a new beginning and a new week is a fresh start, but i don't think that is the case for this week. It will be a continuation of last week. I can already see it. I honestly don't know what i am going to do. I know i will be forced to make the right decision, but i honestly don't think the right decision is always the best one to choose. I have had a weekend to think and i still haven't come to anything. The conversation on Friday left me speechless. And i think that is because i am wrong here and i have no argument on this one. I don't know, i really don't. This whole thing has my head spinning, I just want it to stop, and stop NOW! Tomorrow can either go two ways, 1: bad for me, good for everyone else, or Good for me, and bad for everyone else. I guess i just cant win in this case.

I have a feeling....

I have a feeling that I am starting to get back into my old ways. I don't know what happened but I have been feeling weird lately. I have been sick, but not like that feeling. It might be the book that I'm reading about a teenage pregnant girl, but I don't see that making me feel this way. You know I'm going to be honest I feel alone. I really do. I have tons of friends, but I still feel alone. I want someone in my life that I can call mine. And that I can see all the time. I am hearing all these stories of my friends and their new guy and I am really happy for them all, but on the other hand, I feel kind of left out in that category. But I guess I just have to suck it up because there is nothing I can do about that.

I'M 15!!!

Woww. today was amazing! Even though i am having another party tomorrow, with all my crazy friends, i had a family party tonight and it was the most amazing thing! I love being around the people i love the most! Which is my family! I had fun just talking and hanging out! I even made $193 so far haha i still have another party tomorrow! Oh man that is going o be crazy i cant wait to see what they all got me!:):)::) Good night! I am going to the mall tomorrow morning!:)

Woww!

Wow, you don't know how happy i am right now! You know i think i just over came something for myself. I am usually, well i wouldn't say jealous, but, yeah i would. I was told something tonight that usually would kinda irritate me, but i told myself, that if i am just happy for people then i will be much happier and that is a lot less stress that i am putting on myself. So i am. From now on, i am just going to be happy for people, even if i am not perfect with it. If i tell myself that i am happy, then i am and it just makes me in such a better mood. Man i love it! I really hope, NO, i am GLAD that i am changing everyday with new things!!! Yippee!:D

:D

This weekend has been amazing! I haven't had a weekend like this in a long time! Totally relaxed, smiled the whole time and spend time with Ana!! I love hanging around with her! She makes me in such a good mood! So after school, we went to Water and Ice!! Yumm! then we went to her house and babysat all her brothers and sisters!! I love them haha! Then we went to the Skyline vs. Desert Ridge game! That was so much fun! After we were done working concessions. we hung out with all the cheer team, and all the boys! That was so amazing! Never had the much fun at a game! When we got home around like 11 something, we made dinner and watched 17 Again. Well, i watched the beginning because i fell asleep haha what a loser i know! The next morning she cleaned her dad's car and then i went home! When i got home, i cleaned the house and went and saw Ryan! Then, at like 930 i went to Bashas! And subway!! Yumm! When i got home, i made chocolate chip cookies!!!! Well, i have to take a shower and get ready to go with my mommy, and ALL of my sisters!!!!!

How I am doing now...

Well, right now, i don't really have anything to complain about. I have everything i need and want. I am doing really well. I have a feeling on why i am doing so well. On Saturday, i was sitting in the bathroom with my best friend Hannah Underwood, and we were talking about how family is SO important to us. I really never realized everything they do for me. They will be with me forever, no matter what. I love my family SO much! That talk really changed how i look at things. I feel bad for taking advantage of them, and that needed to stop. I have everything i could possibly ever need and want, just by having them!
Anyways! Besides that, i am doing good. There has been really no drama the past two weeks! And i love it! I am taking advantage of that!! I am loving life right now, and i hope it lasts FOREVER!!!

How I'm feeling right this moment...

OK so do you ever have that feeling where you have this amazing friendship, like best friends with someone other than your normal group, but while that's going on, you are feeling like you are losing another? Well that's me right now. I am so close with my friend Madison, and i am so happy because she is an awesome friend, but i fee; like i am losing one that is too close to lose. I don't know it has been weird. I'm not mad at all, but there is always this little tension that i do not like but i want to go away but I'm afraid to say something because i don't want it to make anything worst. I do not know what to do, i am holding it on as long as can, so i guess I'm just going to keep my mouth shut for now.

Just keep going...

It's right there, i can see it. I am so close to getting over this bridge that i have been on for a year and a half now. But it is taking forever. I am at the end here and i still have a some to go. I am actually really proud of myself right now, cause i have not lost it through all of this, but you know what?! I don't know how much longer i can last. I think it is because i have learned that if i need to cry, i cannot hold it in. And that's why I'm sitting here crying. Tomorrow is a new day, and i am going to try and make the most of it. I am going to try to smile every chance i can, and just take it hour by hour. I am going to the opening volleyball and football game, so hopefully that will get my mind off of things.

Awwww....

Oh My gosh, I love storms! I am sitting in my bed just listening to it! It really calmed me down after today. I walked my dogs when it was pouring and lightening, not such a good idea, but i didnt care, i wanted to get away!:) I wish it would storm forever:)

New And Improved!!

Well, i am have been doing very well. I am happy all the time, i am not as loud. I don't thrive on always being the best or getting into trouble. I love who i have become, i am not sure if its the "old" me per say, but i love where i am at right at this moment. JROTC is really helping me too. I am getting help building my self esteem up and that's just what i need. I am learning new ways of doing things, and what is "right" My thinking was way off, what i thought was right was me just looking good in front of people and that's not it at all. I used to hate people asking me how i was cause they already knew the answer, but they asked anyways, Now when they ask, i love being able to say"I'm Fantastic!!" I don't know how i went through last year, but i know how I'm gonna get through this year, positively thinking and just being me:):)

First week of High School! Wed-Fri

Well, okay the first day was FANFREAKINGTASTIC!. I had gotten my schedule changed from Teens N Teaching to what i had wanted, student aide. And that went great. It was fun! I was looking forward to that all year. But no, i had a feeling it wouldn't last long just because i had wanted it. So on Friday at lunch Mrs. Laluma, or Starita, or whatever her last name is, came up to me and was like Oh BTW, we are looking at your schedule and we are taking you out of your 1st hour cause we are not having him have two student aides in one hour. I was like WTF. I have already had my schedule changed twice and now you are gonna change it again? And she was like yeah. I was like but he had 2 aides last year 4th hour? And she said she didn't care its not gonna happen. So I'm kind of pissed at this point. Oh and she said maybe 2 of my classes are gonna change. That is bull. Who cares if he has 2 aides in one hour, it doesn't harm her. Ugh she makes me mad at times. Whatever, im going to my first hour, and if she remembers then she can come get me, I'm not going to go out of my way to make a change that i don't agree with so whatever! But I'm not going to let it bother me, I promised myself that whatever happens this year, i am gonna look past it and make it a good one. OMG ROTC is amazing! I love it! If i pass this test we have to take next week on a booklet we have to read, I get my uniform!!!! I'm super excited! I cant wait!!!

Its about time!

Finally!, i got my schedule changed! I don't have to take stupid teens and teaching. I would have failed that class because i don't like it. Ii don't know what i am putting in its place! I'm gonna try to get another student aide class. When my mom talked to them they said that on my registration, i put i wanted to be a doctor, and they said that if i take another class like that then i wouldn't have a high enough G.P.A. Who cares. Yeah i put a Dr. but I'm going into the Marines first so that's all that matters! Ugh i cant wait. Four moor years and i am hopefully sent far away somewhere to be in boot camp and then hopefully i can go out to fight! Sounds weird but i cant wait! Well I'm going to read New Moon, i started yesterday and I'm only on 227:/ i should be farther so peace!

BFFLHOH<3:)!

Okay, here i go, this is going to be a long one, but I'm gonna do it!
Tayler Anne Zuffranieri. My best friend, no scratch that. My un-biological sister. Your not my best friend anymore, you are my un-biological sister. We are so close. Closer that i have ever. will ever be with. Laughs, crys, yelling, pain, happiness, sorrow, heart breaks, every emotion you can think of, we have been through it together. I love you to death and you know that! I will never forget your babbling! Just because you didn't want me to take a simple walk! My parents wouldn't even say anything like that lol! For a while i didn't think you really cared, but i really see it now. You really care about me. And not that many people actually, really, truly care about me. Not like you do. I feel more like home, at your house! I cannot wait till i turn 18! I'm movin in! I think its funny i asked for your room and you planned on us sharing the master! I feel special lol. I know i do things that aren't right for me, and you tell me, but i haven't seen it yet. I will don't worry. And i am so glad that you haven't given up on me. You have given up on Janae and you still havent given up on me. You and her have been friends since you were born and i feel really lucky to know you are here for me. And you know I'm here for you. We have so many memories together. Ahaha you are officially my scary movie buddy! You are the only one i can watch a scary movie with! AAAAHHH CHARLIE!! Haha good times. I love knowing that if we know we are going to get into trouble, we are going in together, whether any of us had to do with it. I love sitting in our room and telling you about my future! And what i wanna do with it! I think you are the only one scared that I'm going into the military, everyone says, it would be good for me, but not you, you actually care if something happens to me. And i love that. I think its funny how at school if we aren't with each other at the time everyone is like "are you guys fighting?" And stuff like that just because i might be doing something else right then. Its funny. Just like Cook, when he was joking and was like, whens the wedding lol. I made those invitations. Hahaha i love it! Man we will NEVER forget Halloween of 2008!!! Best day ever haha. We even been through taking care of Hannah. Never again. But it was fun! I cannot wait for the upcoming years! Prom, (just for you), graduating, graduation road trip!!! Ugh, i cant wait for it to come and for it to be with you. Well, you are my mom (since you said!), best friend, my BFFLHOH, and my un-biological sister! I love you to death and don't you go anywhere! I love you!<3:)

Ana Raquel Morris<3

Ana Raquel Morris. I don't even know where to begin. Well, here i will start with this. I wanna thank you, most of all, for everything you did. I probably don't deserve it, but you gave it all to me anyway. I will always remember sitting on Boucher's couch that one 4Th hour and doing nothing but talking about everything. From beginning bell to ending bell. We talked about everything. And there was nothing pointless. It was about life. My problems, your problems, your family's problems. Everything. And the thing i loved most about that was when i started crying, you pulled me over, held my head and cried with me. I will cherish that moment FOREVER. No doubt about it. You bring my spirit up in any situation i am in. If I'm having troubles at home, school, friends, anything, you always bring out the good in everything. And you always make me feel better about it. I will never tell you thank you enough cause there is no way i can. You know you can call me for anything, and i know i can call you for anything. I am always going to be here for you. DON'T FORGET IT! I love you<3:)

My Sister's Keeper..

Okay, so tonight me and my friend Shandi went to see My Sister's Keeper. I knew it was going to be good, but i never thought it was going to be THAT good. This movie is the best movie i have EVER seen in my whole life. No joke. I cried throughout the whole movie. It's about time they make a movie like this. My make-up was everywhere! I regiment to girls, do not wear mascara! It will be off and down your face faster than anything! That movie should win EVERY award it is nominated for! I give it 10000000/5 stars! GO SEE IT!

Two BBQs in Two days!

Okay. So on Saturday night, my family was invited to my god parents to have a BBQ, wasn't anything big, just us to catch up. So, i was like ok, what would it hurt to go. I knew from the start that i was going to be very bored, cause i don't really have anyone to talk to. My dad and Mike, My mom and Laura, and Bailee and Zack. So i thought of this brilliant idea to invite Tayler! I thought ya know, that would be perfect, i haven't seen my best friend in forever and i would still go and see my family! So i called her up and she didn't sound too enthused, but she ended up asking ans she was allowed! I was all excited because i have been grounded and h haven't been able to talk to any of my friends in like a week so i was looking forward to that! So i went to Tayler's house and we got ready, then we came back to my house and we left like 45 minutes later! When we got there everything was going perfectly for the first 10 minutes, and then it all began. So my God brother Josh, thought of this amazing idea to bring his snake out and feed it while i was there. Not such a good idea. I HATE snakes. So i ran barefooted in the dirt all the way to my truck, in the heat and i was going to sit in there and wait till they got done with that nasty freaking piece of you know what! Then, my mom came out looking for me and they told me they were done with it., So knowing me, i believe them and i went inside and they were all sitting at the table watching it move in a box. I stood i the living room across the kitchen where they all were and i was just watching them. So you know i was a little better knowing it was in a box and everyone was watching it. But then my mom wanted to hold it and it was so HILARIOUS she held if for like 30 seconds ands then she was like GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!! Josh had taken it and she ran to the bathroom, HAHAHA! So, while i was standing there in the same stop, didn't move, with my bag on my shoulders, Tayler decides she wanted to hold it:/ I knew from the start it wasn't going to be good. She had it all on her chest and stuff. I mean, i don't care, if she wants nasty freaky germs on her then be my guest. But it was MY shirt she had on. I still haven't touched my shirt still and u wanna wash it, but i don't wanna touch it! lol Then we ate and swam for a while but we had to get out because it was blowing really hard and it was about to storm. When we were all done, i played with Zack, Bailee and Tayler. After that, it was time to go home. Tayler decided to stay the night.Hmm. The next morning, We got up and we ate breakfast and i cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom while Tayler cleaned my room! Then We went over to her house to get ready for the barbecue she was having at her house with all her family! When i go there we had watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Humph, that movie scared me. I missed some cause it was too scary for me. I am new at this scary movie thing because i am not one for them so it was a little too much for me. Then i got make up on and her family had started arriving around 4. W went swimming for a lot of the time. We ate dinner (which was really good) We all had steak and sides for it! After that we were on the computer for a while, and then we decided to go in her room and we messed around. Omg haha Tayler has this pillow and it has beads in it. and we were messing around it and doing pretty funny shit with it! It was hilarious! Then i ate some ice cream and she had bagel chips and then we watched Made of Honor. That movie is really good!. When the movie was over we shut the t.v. off and the lights and we were laying in her bed and we just started talking about memories from our elementary school and our favorite memories growing up as children. We talked for about an hour or maybe an hour and a half. Those moments are when i know she is meant to be in my life. I love just sitting and just talking to her. I would do that over anything. It is my favorite! Then we fell asleep and that was my weekend!<3

My birthday!

Omg. I am so excited! So i was just informed that i might go to Disney World for my 15th Birthday! I cant wait i really hope we go, That would be freaking AMAZING! Woot-Woot!

Saturday July 11 and Sunday July 12,2009!

Saturday was totally hectic! Okay, so my mom and little sister were suppose to be home from Wisconsin at four. So me and my dad got up and he had to go on a couple of jobs, so I went with him to kill time! On his third job around like 11 or so, my mom called him and told him that they couldn't get on that plane cause it was full, so she tried the next one, nope not that one either, then the next one, still none. She was all sad and worried cause she wanted to get home and they had sent their luggage on the first plane that they were suppose to take. So when we got home, me and my dad had to look for a flight, That was crazy, let me tell you, i swear my dad talked to every person that worked in the airport to get them a plane home. So we had to end up getting them whole new tickets. Now on this flight they wouldn't be home till 11 p.m. but no one cared, they wanted home! So me and my dad had to go to the airport at 4 to get their luggage. Man that was crazy. We couldn't find a place to park cause out truck is lifted and it was too tall. So we drove around and around for at least 30 minutes. Then he decided to just let me go in and get them. So i did and then we went home and then we went to my neighbor house so they could watch the fight on PPV. So they watched that while me and my friend Shandi swam. Then around 9:30, we went home and picked up the house for them. We got there around 10:30! Their plane came in at like 11 which was a little early! Well that was the end of that night. I went to bed around 2 a.m. cause they were showing us their stuff they bought and stuff.

Well, the next morning, i was TOTALLY tired, I had to get up at 9 because i was going to the mall with my neighbor Marcie and Shandi and my little sister Bailee. We were suppose to leave at 10:30, but Marcie didn't feel like getting ready, so we didn't leave for another hour! It was fun. We walked around the mall till 1:30 and then we met up with my older sister Brittany, and Melinda! So there we were 6 of us all getting out toes done! It was totally fun! I usually get the regular french tip, but this time i got Zebra!<3:)>

OH OH OH OH OH OH!!! This morning when Marcie got home from work, she told us that she has to go to the hospital tomorrow (or this morning) at 8:00 a.m.:) She is gonna have little Ryan today!! I cant wait!<3:)>

Next year

Well, okay, Next year looks like its gonna suck already. I have freaking Teens and Teaching, (which I'm changing) I have only one semester of dance, I only have one semester of student aide,(well two because I'm changing my schedule), and freaking Photography,ugh i love taking pics but intro is gonna suck. I wanna lose my AA English class because so i can have dance all year. I don't think that will happen though because dance is full. At least i have Intermediate plus! The only thing i am really looking forward to is R.O.T.C!!! Heck yess!!! Well, i would write more but i am forced to clean:/ Peace!

Ryan Alan!

Ok, so my neighbor Marcie is going to have a little boy either this Tuesday or Wednesday! I can't wait! I have been waiting for 9 months lol. He's gonna be like my little brother! I have all sister and now i can experience like a little brother! I am so excited to hold him, feed him, and teach him things! He is gonna be over at my house everyday because my mom is going to watch him while Marcie works! Ugh i am so excited!!!! I am like gonna be a hermit because i am always going to want to see him! So, it looks like I'm going nowhere next year!!! Tehe!<3:)

What a night!

Okay. So, last night Tayler decided to spend the night and we were bored. I had cleaned my room that morning and i had wanted to rearrange it! I wanted to put the head part inside my closet! Sounds crazy huh?! But i wanted t like that. I gave the idea to her and she said sure! So, here we went! We took everything that was in my closet out and set it to one side of my room then we started to move my bed. I thought for sure that it was going to fit! We had my whole room in the center of my floor when we decided that it wasn't going to fit when we had everything screwed up! We tried at least 500 different ways of fitting it but my bed was too big! But i wasn't going to give up, i was too eager to rearrange my room so we did, Not the way i had wanted, but i love it now! My room is all clean and it feels like i just moved into it! I am never coming out lol!<3:)